5 steps to be happier
Clients often come to me because they would like to change something in their environment, and they are convinced that this will make them happier.
If only I get the perfect job, then I will be happy.
If only my partner is a little more understanding, then I will be happy.
If only I lost 5 kg, then I will be happy.
Sound familiar? Many of us live in a world of externalised happiness where we feel as though our happiness is dependent upon everything else except for us. This is rarely actually the case. Our happiness depends a great deal upon our perception of our environment and events that we experience, not the events or environment themselves.
I read an Indian folk tale when I was younger that stuck with me.
There was a king who suffered from terrible migraines, he tried everything but nothing helped. One day a monk was passing through town who was known for helping with all kinds of ailments. The King summoned the monk, after examination the monk explained that the migraines were being triggered by a colour imbalance in his eyes. He advised the King to concentrate on the colour green and this would cure the migraines.
Six months later the monk was passing back through town and went to check on the King. He received a royal welcome, the King was overjoyed, the advice had worked and his migraines had been gone for months. The King asked if there was anything that the monk wanted as a reward.
The monk replied that he had just one question…why was everything in the kingdom green?
The King was surprised, and said that it was the monk’s own advice that had led to this.
To which the monk said, yes but there was no need to paint everything in the world green, he could have just worn tinted glasses.
As extreme as this story sounds, many of us spend our lives trying to paint the world green instead of looking at how we can change our own perception and behaviour.
Below are 5 tips to help you find more happiness that are not dependent upon changing other people.
1. Slow down and connect with yourself and your environment
Take a few minutes out each day to go for a walk without a mobile device. Tune into your body physically and notice sensations, this exercise helps to calm the noise in the mind. Listen to the sounds around you and appreciate the small details in the things that you see like the colour of the leaves.
2. Exercise
Emotions manifest themselves physically in our bodies, and stay there until they are processed. When you feel fear or stress for example the body gets ready to fight or flee, causing physical responses in your body. Exercise helps us to release emotions and move on from them. It also releases hormones that make us feel happier.
3. Spend time with people who energise you
There are some people in your life who seem to make you feel happier and uplifted each time you see them, spend more time with these people. Where possible avoid having people in your life who demotivate you and bring your energy levels down.
4. See things from multiple perspectives
The next time something triggers you, consider whether there is an alternative way of looking at the situation, and an alternative way of interpreting other peoples’ behaviour. Rather than focusing on others, blaming either directly or indirectly, consider how you have contributed to the situation and what you can do differently.
5. Sleep
Sleep is vital to allow our bodies to recharge, it affects our mood, concentration and energy levels. Organise your time so that you are sleeping at similar times each day and for at least 7 hours a night.